Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I had run out of hope.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

How can I get rid of the fake girls on social media that are claiming to be hookups? Is there a way to shuffle through them and the real women that actually want to talk?

And the sadness?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are like me, then.

Why does Russia and many parts of Eastern Europe strangely have a high percentage of female doctors and physicians (~70%)?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s still here.

N.J. doctors are using a party drug to send patients to ‘another planet.’ Yes, it’s legal. - NJ.com

I was tired of fighting.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Will Colapinto replace Doohan as second driver at Alpine Team during the 2025 season or is just a rumour of Argentine press?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

🔥Why has Prime Narendra Modi become Extremely FRUSTRATED and Highly DEPRESSED because he has NOT been invited by Donald Trump to witness his Oath Ceremony for his INAUGURATION on 20th January as the next PRESIDENT of USA? Does the DESPERATE Narendra Modi FEAR that Donald Trump's actions may even LEAD to the FALL of the BJP-led MINORITY Government in India, as such actions have already caused GREAT PANIC in the NDA Coalition?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Why do people keep complaining about how some people copy and paste the question before answering it? To me, it's very disturbing and makes me want to block and mute them as annoying whiners.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What is your most intimate experience with your best friend?

It’s here now, writing to you.

The sadness was still there.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What have I done wrong? How can I start over?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Be who you already are.